Minty Bit Stronger

At the rehearsal tonight our set designer, who is a wonderful eccentric genius, unveiled his drawings for the panto in December. I think each one is a beautiful piece of art. I can't wait to see the final completed set. Mother Goose will be on at the Tyler Theatre Eltham, November 30th to December 3rd.

Cinderella On my way to a rehearsal for 'Mother Goose', I found myself recalling all the other productions I've been in since I was a child. I wasn't a stage school brat and I didn't have pushy parents but I did get my acting bug pretty young. I guess my earliest acting memory was a raging battle to be cast as Joseph in a school Nativity play. I must have been about six but none-the-less I was furious to be given the role of 'wise man with myrrh' and I wouldn't rest until I was certain I would be the greatest 'wise man' that Layton had ever seen. Tea towel on head I was keen to shock, awe and maybe even steal the show. I was going to be brilliant! Obviously, I was rubbish because in the next biblical production I was cast as 'elephant's legs'. It was Noah's ark and the Ark was a giant cut out of a boat with various 'animal print' legs shuffling it along. I didn't even get a tail. And, I think I was at th

If you've ever met Ellie-Cat you will agree she deserves her two minutes of fame. Well Here it is - 120 seconds of her gorgeousness for you to enjoy. Rx

I like fashion, I like pictures and I especially like talking nonsense. In my fashion layout below I got to do all three. Ten kind, willing and obviously daft individuals from my place of work kindly offered their gorgeous glad rags for our delectation. Please check out the beautiful outfits below and feel free to wish you worked along side such hotties. Property Guru Carrie Wears Gucci Shoes paired with Primark Cardigan and H&M Dress, ring Models own. Indie Girl Fay teams Therapy dress from House of Frasier with All Saints Jacket (£250) and vintage boots. PA Superstar Sean-Paul mixes high-end and high-street. Jeans (Topman £35), Shirt (Primark £5), Cardigan (Primark £15), Shoes (Freddy Perry £35) Princess Sophie matches Topshop Print dress with oversize Jacket. Perfecting the look with Kurt Geiger Shoes. Omishola runs with the classic all-woman silhouette in purple pencil shirt and plunge pendant. Olive Dresses head to toe in Riv

I am reasonably confident the Earth's rotation must have slowed. Also, I haven't checked, but am quietly confident, my watch is now counting 70 minutes to the hour. I don't need to check because it's a scientific fact that my days, hours and minutes are dragging more this week than ever before in the history of my life. Of all the 1570 weeks I have journeyed through none have been so glacial in their passing. The over use of simalies aside it has been a draining miserable week and I suspect it is because another forgettable summer is making way for another dreary autumn. With seasons so indistinct it's no surprise my concept of time is so warped. Winter will be here in a blink as evidenced earlier this week when I saw Christmas chocolates on sale. Rather than freak out as I once would have I instead shrugged. WTF! was replaced by 'meh'. If time continues it's painfall crawl I suspect I'll be arthritic and senile before the tree goes up. Bah humbu

I like my iPhone Instagram app very much. It makes everything look arty and colourful... even something as plain as a bathroom sink.

The hotel reached up to they black clouds, it's angular shape lost to the swirling darkness. No-where on it’s 30 upper floors was a single lit window, the whole building stood dead in the night like a giant gravestone. My tired legs carried me forward into the dimly lit reception towards a shuttered counter. What little light there was here seemed to bleed from a handful of dusty emergency exit signs and a flickering TV behind the reception shutters. Silence. I saw no one. A faded hand written sign seemed to point at a brass buzzer beside the shuttered window. I hesitantly reached for the button about to press when I saw a shadow move on the counter before me. Still, I couldn't see who cast the shadow anywhere. 'Hello', I whispered. Still just silence, 'Hello?' Shifting on my feet to see better into the reception area I heard a loud creak from the floor beneath my feet and looked down and behind me to be sure the noise was my doing. I looked back into the recep

Hi, it's Jayne from the Bodychef. If you still need to lose weight I'd like to remind you that this 10% voucher code BODYTXT expires at the end of this month. Just use it online or over the phone. - www.bodychef.com - e-mail: jayne@bodychef.com - call me: 01502581162 - To unsubscribe txt NO Hi jayne, thank you for the reminder. I am not yet at my goal weight and really appreciate the support you are offering. My other friends say I'm not fat but I'm glad I have you to tell it like it is. However, I'm just not sure this is the best thing for me... I've heard very mixed reviews and imagine the food to be a little yucky! Can you allay my fears? Oh... And Jayne, I don't own a microwave, is that a problem? I'm afraid of the radiation... In fact I'm holding my phone at arms length because I'm afraid the text might fry me. I heard mobile's emit radiation too. Do you think that's true? Any way, I digress... What were you saying again?

Making women crazy since 2005 Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to complain about how the Twilight books have destroyed my ability to get sex. Every girl I meet wants to talk about that damned Edward Cullen and isn’t interested in a living breathing sexual partner. Instead they prefer a man’s most intimate of intimates to be cold and blue. Normally when I struggle with girls in their twenties I move to women in their forties. These women are just as bad, in fact they’re even creepier because they are confident enough to make suggestions like ‘could you dress up like Edward’, ‘will you stand near that open freezer for twenty minutes’ and ‘can I put this glitter on you’. Sick! Because of those damned books I haven’t had intercourse in 15 months. If a real living man isn’t good enough we risk turning our women into grave robbers. Picture it: crazy women loose in graveyards making out with our dead relatives. Do you want that? Do you? I demand you remove them from

On my recent trip to France I had quite an adventure. Here it is fully illustrated in comic book style.

Another day, another trip to University Hospital Lewisham. This time it wasn't me, but instead a broken Guillaume. I decided to document our trip with my iPhone Instagram app. Why? Why not!! Guillaume was busy working on his troubled mid-distance stare as I secretly papped him. The Doctor was wearing Crocs but I forgave him because he identified the source of Guillaume's pain and offered crutches and pain killers. Armed with a trendy pair of aluminium crutches we went to M&S - well, what else would you do? Back home it was time to get junked up on Tramadol - I wanted in on the act, they look fun!  Finally, some stick on pain relief and a little snooze.