Death Grips, Furnishings and GIANT MIRRORS!

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Guillaume and I have begun the first tentative and uncertain steps into the big world of home ownership. A long time ago I learned the the word 'mortgage' was in fact Latin for 'Death-grip'. Lovely huh? Now we are looking into a part ownership death grip of our very own in nearby Deptford. The two bedroom flat we have in our sights is a luxury sized new build with some hippy drippy Eco heating system. Located three floors up and a hop-skip-and-a-jump from the station, it is ticking all the boxes. It would be around this early stage when any normal couple would be spending their time thinking about life insurance, bank applications, a joint account, home insurance, contents insurance, filling it paperwork etc... Not us...

We're spending every minute decorating a flat we have yet to own, let alone live in. A sofa has been selected as have dining chairs from the fancy pants Xavier Pauchard collection. We debated with some passion what sort of tv unit we should buy and have no reached a proper agreement yet. Guillaume wants a giant white thing that looks like a toppled Smeg Fridge and I am more inclined to something, you know, good! The bed was at least an easy option. I demanded storage and Guillaume who's feet dangle off the end of our current bed demanded size. So that's sorted - I'm looking forward to playing hide and seek in the new flat and hiding in the giant space under the bed. Always thinking!

We have the basics covered: dishwasher, washing machine, fridge-freezer (with ice machine, maybe) and GIANT MIRRORS EVERYWHERE. Yeah, we like light and space (and our reflections) so much we are buying GIANT MIRRORS for every room. Wall art has been discussed too but my idea of having sophisticated black and white prints of dead celebs wasn't well received. I thought we could have a 'crack' wall featuring Amy, Whitney, Morrison, Hendrix, Monroe, Judy and Cobain. Apparently not... Something more abstract will no doubt cover the few walls that don't have GIANT MIRRORS on them.

Ideally I would like to make the spare room into a nursery for the baby we one day hope to adopt... But not knowing if it'll be Black, White or Asian makes choosing the right colour scheme impossible. Gay man problems, huh? One thing that did occur to me is that a Panda theme could work because Panda's are Black, White and Asian. We could learn a lot from Panda's. Decorating tips from bears that can't breed aside I am realistically thinking this second room will maybe be a guest bedroom. How cool to actually be able to invite people over and have them stay in the guest bedroom? I'm going to put little mini soaps and maybe a chocolate on the pillow when people come over. Not some shitty Cadbury's turd but something like booja-booja that's so posh and so good I'm not sure I've spelt it right! It's all just so exciting I can't cope!

Now briefly back to reality... (Thud).

The flat is not yet ours and the process is a long on with many hoops to be jumped through. Clearly we are responsible mature adults who occasionally pay our bills and have even been known to vote or do jury service. Hopefully, we'll get our Death Grip and can go buy those GIANT MIRRORS and live happily ever after.




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