Minty Bit Stronger

Rule one: Don't write angry. Rule two: Keep it concise OK - I promise only to break only one rule of good journalism. I HATE PEOPLE!!! Maybe I can bend #2 People should have a label warning other people that they 'may be bad for your health'. If not your health then at least for your throbbing thumb after you ferociously text them some much needed abuse. 'People', of which I understand there are close to 7.1 billion, are annoying self obsessed lumps of aging, sagging skin, filled with bile, blood and life supporting organs. Usually topped with spaghetti-like bushes of varying colour and equipped with a gaping hole at the front from which noises emerge. They are a strange, noisy bunch. Ugly even! Often making said noises before the organism can engage it's primitive cerebellum, they are prone to causing annoyance and distress. They have evolved additional mediums to annoy including email, text and even social media - a truly inventive and vile sp

Videre: fully assembled The creator of the Videre, 24 year old Kelly Angood, is sipping elderflower tea somewhere in trendy east London while I’m sipping cold coffee on my cold balcony South of the river; the only place I could get reception for our phone interview. Kelly is at once warm and funny, putting me at ease, with her Midlands accent via Brighton and London. She explains she has always lived around film cameras and paints me a picture of herself as a child holding a point and shoot from Boots with a caterpillar illustration gracing the front. It wasn’t until the age of 20 that she finally embraced modern digital photography saying both methods have their ‘pros and cons’ and ‘think how many memories were lost before digital?’ Angood believes digital and analogue can and must coexist. Videre: self assembly Perhaps inspired by the caterpillar on her childhood camera rather than the camera itself, Angood went on to study illustration at Brighton University where, i

Borough Market: est. 1758 Some would have us believe Borough Market is nearly 1000 years old, surely the oldest market in London? Official records are a little more conservative placing the origin (at the present site just off Borough High Street) closer to 1756. Either way we are looking at a Market steeped in London history and famous all over the world as a place to shop for unique gourmet foods. Borough Market: Balsamic Vinegars My first encounter at Borough Market was nearly six years ago; I took home two rich, mouth-watering Ostrich fillets from ‘ The Exotic MeatCompany ’, and I never looked back.  Since that culinary awakening I have tasted the finest Salted Caramel Fudge, the best syrupy Balsamic Vinegar and unforgettable Blueberry Saussison. The last few years have seen the traders shunted from one corner of the site to another while essential building takes place. The worst of the upheaval seems behind them now and the market is going from strength

The final in today's trilogy of reviews from my days as an actor... Just for the record the 'Country Life-reading deer' is me. Andrew Clements guardian.co.uk ,  Saturday 16 June 2007 23.54 BST It's a huge coup for Garsington Opera to tempt a director of David Alden's international standing to work there, and the result is one of the finest productions the summer season in the Oxfordshire countryside has ever presented. Though hugely popular in the 19th century, Rossini's La Donna del Lago is hardly standard fare nowadays - those with long memories remember a Covent Garden production in the early 1980s - but Alden's enthusiasm for the piece and his skill in bringing it to life make the best possible case for its return to the repertory, and for serious Rossini in general. Based on Walter Scott's narrative poem The Lady of the Lake, La Donna del Lago takes place in 16th-century Scotland, a love affair set against the background

...Also uncovered this little cracker of a review from nine years ago... I play 'the ineptitude of Charlie Cage effectively'. Wow! ...amazing that Oscar isn't mine already! A Murder of Crows Chance Factory Written by Steve Jansen 'All new black hearted comedy, diamonds, 'offal', suitcases and criminals all cemented together for everyone who has ever laughed when they shouldn't have'. A cleverly written, technically ambitious, comedy crime drama, which cracks on a pace. Starring Lindsay Bennett as the very sexy Amy Ravendark, and Cathy Collins as the extremely sarcastic Lillian Aviary. Also Robert McCaffrey, and Stephen Jansen as a pair of daft blokes. Charlie Cage and Frankie Yale rob a bank (with hilarious results of course) because two strong women make them do it. (This is rather pleasing for the feminists in the audience). McCaffrey portrays the ineptitude of Charlie Cage effectively from the first scene where he is shouting an

A review I found from 2003 of Wednesday Productions 'Casting the First Stone' I cannot believe I did that 10 years ago. Casting the First Stone Wednesday Productions By Steve Jansen The cheesy scene was created with the aid of a manky pair of pants and assorted festooned carefully chosen items of garbage and convincing images of squalor. Looking at the set was enough to give you verrucas and the verruca theme was one of several cunning plot devices, which carried us through to an electrifying finish. We found ourselves in the flat of four 'out of work actors' well drawn and guilty of being no hopers, all chasing the same role. The first character skidded into action-sporting hideous undergarments, while incongruously ironing pants, which were very cheesy indeed. Piles (or hemorrhoids  of fun followed, if you will forgive the disgusting imagery-which only got worse as traffic cones and orifice related analogies were rammed into the mix of puerile hum