Minty Bit Stronger

I t’s that time of year again when the pre-holiday  panic to shed a few pounds (or if we’re  completely honest a miracle stone) takes a grip  that refuses to yield. This time, however, I  resolved to take a grown-up stance and try something  that would kick start a more long-term lifestyle shift.   And so it was that, after waving a daunting farewell  to the Venti coffees and croissants – my daily sugary  crutches – I found myself in receipt of a giant box of  detox juices, vitamins, and – that most terrifying of  things – an enema kit. My Purifyne Detox had arrived.  Now, I don’t consider myself unusual for regarding  two days’ separation from the Rioja a challenge; in my  world, a helping of strawberry cheesecake and a  banana daiquiri more than account for my five-a-day.  Unsurprisingly then, confronted with a 14-day eating  plan of various fruit juices and herbal teas I feared I’d  bitten off...

Last night was a fierce deadline that threatened to keep me captive late into the evening. I wasn't it's only victim hoping for an eventual escape, with me were Little Linda, Kerry, Fay and Two Victorias. All of us cursing, waiting and wanting to go. Myself and one of the Victorias had plans to see Hamlet and it was clear we wouldn't be on time. Eventually our over complicated, archaic system loaded the final page of the magazine and we fled the scene. Finally, on the tube whizzing eastward away from work Victoria and Fay set about applying their makeup. Fay hoped off at London bridge looking very happy with her bouncy pony-tail and Victoria and I hurried onwards to our culture date. Late, but not deterred we were ushered to our seats. Beforehand, knowing we would miss the opening I explained to Victoria, Hamlet was essentially The Lion King and if you bare that in mind we'll be fine. A few minutes in... I had begun to follow. Hamlet/Simba may be crazy in Love o...