Minty Bit Stronger

With Christmas parties approaching every civilised member of society is now weighed down with worry: What to wear? Well, this is a question I'm going to 'skirt' around (see what I did there) and direct your attention to the the fact you could wear anything if you we're super skinny! But you're not you're a fatty-bum-bum! So don't worry about the outfit, just worry about your weight instead! Now that your self esteem is at an all time low I, like thousands of glossy magazines before me, will flog you a novelty diet to help you look like the unrealistic ideal self image you have fixed in your minds eye. So here it is:- Robert's Mega Good Guide to Drinking Yourself Skinny! Sweet Red Russian Let's start with something simple. I read somewhere that cranberries are good for something and Mary Poppins said a spoonful of sugar was good (with medicine) so mix the white stuff into the cranberry juice and then add crap loads of vodka. Easy. ...

While trawling the vintage shops of Shoreditch I uncovered the key trends for autumn/winter 2012. Read on and discover what you need to wear in the coming months if you wish to retain credibility amongst your fashion  forward  friends and colleagues. Prison orange colour blocking Kim Kardashion has taken a break from being a dirty slut from a family of fame hungry whores. The memory of a sex video has long since been replaced instead by hundreds of images of her posing like a greased up oversexed baby seal. I digress... Remember her (deceased) lawyer father who famously defended OJ Simpson for that double murder. The racism defence was born and America lost 100 years of civil advancements in the blink of one jury verdict; a proud day. This last detail is being cleverly subverted by Kim when she decided to make prison orange a la mode. She's a fashion genius subverting her family connections to the darkest side of American celebrity by wearing the...