Minty Bit Stronger

Since Alexander McQueen committed suicide in 2010, Britain's beautifully upholstered fashion throne has remained empty. Wave after wave of up-and-coming designers have dreamt of planting their pristine derrières on the red velvet cushion and claim the fashion crown. Previous pretenders to the thrown include Matthew Williams, Julian McDonald and Stella MaCartney. Each with their own tragic tale of disappointment and failure. Matthew Williams will never take the crown after an ill fated collaboration with H&M that was instantly forgettable. Well do you remember it? E ven he can't recall it. Julian is buried under lip gloss and botox judging Grimsby's next top model demonstrating that when you can no longer design, it's best to retire to a TV panel and talk shit. Stella, daughter of the leather faced Beatle, designed the unforgivable England Olympic kit that looked normal on Will.i.am but made everyone else look like a crack head space cadet. So, with t...

While trawling the vintage shops of Shoreditch I uncovered the key trends for autumn/winter 2012. Read on and discover what you need to wear in the coming months if you wish to retain credibility amongst your fashion  forward  friends and colleagues. Prison orange colour blocking Kim Kardashion has taken a break from being a dirty slut from a family of fame hungry whores. The memory of a sex video has long since been replaced instead by hundreds of images of her posing like a greased up oversexed baby seal. I digress... Remember her (deceased) lawyer father who famously defended OJ Simpson for that double murder. The racism defence was born and America lost 100 years of civil advancements in the blink of one jury verdict; a proud day. This last detail is being cleverly subverted by Kim when she decided to make prison orange a la mode. She's a fashion genius subverting her family connections to the darkest side of American celebrity by wearing the...