Textual Assault

-

I am at a loss why they keep coming back for more abuse. Maybe they are fans of the blog or maybe 'they' are in fact a mindless messaging service. Here is my latest textual assault:-


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Pound Coin of Doom!

-
Image
My mood has been as black as it comes today with wave after wave of bad news grinding me down. One of my grievances is a battered pound coin has ironically managed to cause £135 worth of damage. My house manager, a gruesome Italian man who looks slightly like The Penguin, has been waddling in and out of my flat for days trying to establish why the washing machine is Kaput! Finally an engineer was called who discovered the errant coinage and issued a bill of biblical proportions for his heroic work. In addition to this excessive billing he scrawled some advice on the invoice suggesting we don’t overload the socket in the washer room… Oh thanks – is that how the pound coin got stuck? We overloaded the socket! Thanks, Einstein! Practically, invaluable advice aside I’m still utterly hung up on the fact that as soon as I have the vague sniff of some extra money in one nostril I have an epic cash nosebleed out the other. Maybe I’m over reacting and maybe I should just junk up on some leve...
Read more

Lena Proudlock's 'Carnival in Rio, 1978'

-
Image
When asked to name great photographers few of us can list more than David Bailey, Annie Leibovitz and David La Chapelle. But, tucked away in a rainy corner of Marylebone, a pop up exhibition of Lena Proudlock's 'Carnival in Rio, 1978' is changing that. This simple exhibition offers great, honest photography in a refreshingly unfussy setting. A selection of bold, giant prints, created in collaboration with Douglas Villiers, hang in the mock industrial Imitate Modern gallery on Devonshire Street. Each carefully curated image offers a glimpse into an age before sexual self-consciousness from a culture celebrating sexuality and the body beautiful. Daring, provocative and spontaneous each image hints at stories which the energetic and welcoming Lena was happy to tell. 'Rio Bikinis' for example, is a glorious beach shot featuring six beautiful women in an array of masks, lingerie and bikinis. Lena approached and asked the group to pose and,...
Read more

Three easy steps to winning Twitter competitions.

-
Image
Today I should be calling businesses in the hope of selling a crappy e-newsletter sponsorship. Knowing that the only person dumb enough to say ‘yes’ would have to have had a full frontal lobotomy performed by a spastic at the wheels of a JCB. Sadly, this type of client is few and far between so rather than try I decided my day would be better spent entering lots of competitions on Twitter. In my pursuit of twitter glory I learned there are certain rules you must abide by if you wish to win. Here is my Guide to winning competitions on twitter. Firstly , you must react fast. Sometimes the competitions are time sensitive so you cannot be hindered by slow downloads or sluggish uploads. I advise that you avoid electro-magnetic fields which are proven to delay electrical impulses by hundredths of a millisecond. In addition to stepping away from the TV, Radio or the Rampant Rabbit you will need to wear natural fibres. Man made fibres collect static which can be also be hazardous...
Read more